Nobody Said It Was Easy...

So, whoever said this dating game was easy? If so, I would love to speak with them. Humorous…yes, tiring…yes, makes you questions yourself…yes, but easy does not fit in the equation for me.

With that being said date #3 was last night! I had actually been taking with this guy since the 4th of July…I know more than a month of communication back and forth and last night was the first night we met in person. I was excited to actually see if this guy existed. To his defense he travels a lot with his job. We chatted on the phone several times. Just based on conversation I gathered that he was really professional, career driven, but overall nice guy. I honestly felt like the conversation was strained at times, but then again we had never met before in person and he could’ve not been a phone person. So, when he asked me out for drinks I agreed and we planned on meeting at a bar at 7 p.m.

Okay, how did I feel about the date going in? I think honestly I was just looking forward to meeting the guy because he was like the first guy from my matches that I felt like okay this guy may be compatible with me. But, based on the conversations we had this guy seemed a little more serious than myself and articulate. So, I felt the need to open the dictionary and learn a few words before our date…did I know, but I thought it could’ve been a good idea. Although, probably after one drink I would’ve forgotten the words I learned! Oh well, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m like take me as I am… and if a guy likes that great, if not there is always someone else out there. At least I try to have this mentality other times not going to lie, I’m like why haven’t I meant someone yet. But, enough with the pity party at least I’m being proactive and getting out and dating and that’s what it’s all about!

So, for a little download before the date I get off of work a little later than I had expected and traffic was terrible. I got home washed my face and re straightened my hair and grabbed my clutch purse (I figured I didn’t want to expose him to my big purses yet) and was out the door. Traffic was a beast, so I called him at 5 till 7 p.m. and said I was running late, but he was in the same situation, so I felt better. I got to the bar, which is parked next to a library, so when I tried to park the parking guy was like you can’t park in the lot until the library is closed, so I had to either park in the lot or valet. Well, I was already running late, so I figured I would just valet. I walk in and scope out the place and he wasn’t there. I take a seat at the bar and try to make myself look busy. The bartender comes up and I say I was meeting someone, so I would hold off on a drink for the time being. Well, a few more minutes pass and he’s still not there, so I decide to run to the restroom and do a quick check of myself. Looking good! I reapply gloss and brush my hair and hope the guy is there…he’s not. So, I sit at the same spot I was before do a little look around and there is this guy sitting several bar stools down and he looks at me and is like, “have you ever been here before.” I reply with, “yes,” I mean do I look that scattered?! Anyways, I’m thinking to myself may be I should just order a drink instead of looking awkward sitting at the bar. So, I order a glass of wine and right as I pull out my card to pay the guy walks in. He said that he would take care of it and he orders himself a gin and tonic and we find a place to sit.

First impressions, he looked very similar to his profile picture, may be a little shorter than he said on his profile, but not too bad. He was nice looking, very professional (I know I describe as this a lot- but seriously no other words to describe him). We sat and made a little small talk, about work and personal life. We had like a flirty sarcastic convo back and forth, not sure, but that’s what it felt like. Although, when we talked about what we liked to do in our spare time, he would always be like well I like doing this but I never have time because I work a lot. Which is fine, but seems like this guy is too busy to have a relationship.

So, the night is finally coming to an end. He runs to the restroom real quick and then comes back. And, I’m not sure what happened from the time he left the table to the time he came back from the bathroom, but when he came back it was like a rush of eharm questions. Maybe he wanted to get the download before the date ended not sure. It was like a rush of why are you on? How many dates? How many matches have you gotten? Have you been on multiple dates with the same person? I mean what’s the deal? I answer his questions and then turn the tables on him. This is what his response was a) he’s been on eharm for 6 months and not sure now if he believes in the process (ok then why are you still on), b) he has like over 1,000 matches (wow- are you trying to show off buddy), c) b/c he gets so many matches he only clicks on people that have interesting names (ok I have a fairly common name so I’m not sure if I really buy that). Okay, so this is how the nights going to end I’m thinking? He closes his tab and we walk out, then he says to me he’ll wait for me to get my car from the valet since I’m too good to park in the deck. Was he trying to be funny with that comment- if so I wasn’t buying it. The valet guy brought my car around and I get in to find that the seat was wet from his sweat…yuck! I mean I know its summer and I appreciate the guys effort to be speedy and run to get my car, but I could’ve done w/o the sweat.

Well, I have a feeling that I probably won’t hear from this guy again, but at least I can say that I’ve met him in person. I mean I guess they do say you have to meet a lot before you find the right one…not sure how long this will take, but I’m trying to remain optimistic. Verdict for this weekend, I’m taking off of eharm for a few days and having a few drinks! You never know maybe I’ll come back from the weekend and have met someone in the bar or something…I know wishful thinking!!!

Taking a Break

Okay, after yesterday evening's date I feel worn out! This process is turning out to be a bit more than I thought. At this point in the game I think I've analyzed the questions to the nth degree. I think I need to clear the head and give this a rest. I mean who thought I would get tired with this process. But to be honest with you it takes a lot out of you!

Report back: So, maybe I lied! This thing is addicting! Day two and I'm already checking my profile!

I like It

Okay, so score...date #2! This guy I was really excited about...from his profile he seemed like a perfect match for me. I mean everything in his profile was what I was looking for...he liked to workout, was looking to keep balance in his life, etc. I mean I can not tell you how excited I was about this one ...and I forgot to mention a major detail...he was so cute!! I was so excited for our date this past week. We met at a little local tapas type restaurant after work. I thought he did a good job, no chain restaurant and it was really close to where I live as well.

I had enough time to take another shower and get ready for the date. I have a new song to get me ready for my dates...Enrique Iglesias- I Like It! Had a little dance party in my room to calm the nerves and I was set to go!

In one of our previous questions to each other you have to fill out must haves and can't stands, he said one of his dislikes was people not being punctual (I'm usually always running a few minutes behind), but I was so proud of myself I got there with 5 minutes to spare!  I was walking through the parking lot and I saw him in the car. It's funny looking back on it because we both gave each other like an awkward wave. We met each other outside the restaurant. I got there a few minutes to spare and I kid you not, I was like "Wow! This guy is really nice looking!" I was looking forward to getting to know him and meeting him in person.

We sat down and started chatting, he ordered an appetizer and we ordered a few drinks. But, what seemed like a good time totally turned out to be something different. He started talking about the fact that he didn't like cheese on his pizza because it would give him high cholesterol...I mean I was hoping he would say maybe he was lactose! But high in cholesterol? I'm totally all about being healthy, but I think  he would make me a little obsessive about what I eat. Then he said that the area we lived in the people were too judgemental. It actually turned out to be an exhausting date to say the least and by the end of the date my moral was not very high..let alone my confidence level. After an awkward side hug and "We should do this again," I walked to my car and headed home. I called my mom and sister (my go to date critiques) and dished about the evening.

Polish Guy

So, I was on eHarmony one night and this guy pops up as a match for me. Let me preface this with the fact that he makes reference to the Polish Coat of Arms in one of his pictures (Being half Polish my grandmother probably would've wanted me to marry him knowing that he was Polish- good thing I have not mentioned to her that a) I'm on eHarmony b) One of my matches was a Polish dude). I have to hand it to the guy not that I thought we would be a match, but his profile was absolutely hilarious. If anything I just wanted to meet this guy to see if he was as funny in person as he was when filling out his profile. To sum it up basically he wanted to star in his own eHarmony commercial after finding the girl of his dreams.

A few days after getting matched up with him I get an email from C* (yes, he's another one that jumps right to the email convo) asking me to go out for drinks or coffee. After contemplating I figure what do I have to lose. So, I email him back and say that coffee would be great. Well, I don't hear from him for like two weeks and then he asks me to get coffee with him at 10 a.m. on Friday morning because he works from home. Well, I don't have that luxury right now, so I tell him it won't work that I actually have to be at my office.

No other news to report on this guy, he closes match with me. Which means that I don't have access to our past emails, etc. Which was a shame because if anything I would like to keep the email for a good chuckle. I will leave you with a direct quote though, since I can still see his profile.

"I hope to find a girl that makes me smile every time I think about her. Then I want to co-star together in the greatest eHarmony commercial ever. (which premieres during the Super Bowl)... and then live happily ever after..."

Very sweet/comical wouldn't you agree? Sad that coffee never worked out...wished I got to work from home too!

Moral Support

So, I'm starting to get daily emails from my dad asking how the prospects look? I almost cracked up when I read the email he wrote. I can honestly say that my dad is getting really into the process, which honestly surprised me. Although, he always follows up the conversation with a safety tip. For example, the last guy that got my number and kept calling, my dad's solution: next time get the guy's number and hit *87 on your phone and when you dial it will show as restricted. I love my dad's advice, but blocking my number- I feel like that is a little extreme.

Phone Stalking

Our date ends at about 8 p.m. I get back to my house and settle in with a nice dessert (yeah I guess he made me a little self conscious with all of his talk about his 600 calorie diet that I didn't eat that much) and watching the Bacheloertte. Life is good!

Well, it's almost 9 p.m. (same night) and I get a voicemail asking if I would want to watch Entourage at his place and 'crack' open a bottle of wine. I don't want to answer, so I just call him back in the morning on my way to work and tell him it wouldn't work out. Then Wednesday, while I'm walking with my sister probably going into detail about my date I get a voicemail from him asking if I wanted to grill out with his brother and him. Yikes, little too much! He calls me AGAIN the following Monday to hang out and I say I already had plans and then he asks my plans for the rest of the week. I had to let him down easy and just say that I had a nice time with him, but that it would be best if we were just friends. I think he got the hint though. I had too! First of all I would want someone to do the same for me if they were not feeling it on their end, I mean I wouldn't want either of us to waste our time with someone who is not fully into it.

So I continue my quest...

Twisted

Upon arriving S called me and said he was waiting for me at the bar and said he was wearing a yellow polo. I walked inside and spotted the yellow polo (good thing he gave me his shirt color) and tapped him on the shoulder. Since this was my first date with eHarmony I wasn’t sure if this guy was going to look anything like his picture, I think I fed into the rumors that people look nothing like what they do in their profile pictures. But, I was pleasantly surprised that he looked the same- although I have to say he looked like his third or fourth picture. No judgment on my part though, I mean my profile picture is the best out of the three pictures I posted of myself.
I think I thought the initial meeting would be awkward, but not at all…relieved! We sat and made quick small talk before I dived into my heating questions- how long had he been on eHarmony. Maybe I should take a step back and give you a little more info on this guy, he’s 31 and from an area jest west of where I live. He said he had been on eHarmony for about six months and said he was over meeting girls in bars. Okay, I can totally appreciate that, I feel the same way.

We started talking and I kid you not within like the first 15 minutes of our conversation he comes out with the fact that he’s on a 600-700 calorie diet. REALLY…I mean by no means would I call this guy fit or trim for that matter. I do want you to know though that I don’t think he kept the 600 calorie that night. The beers alone probably equated to more than 600 calories I'm guessing. He said he was doing it to drop weight quick, okay buddy not sure if this would be the best approach and I hate to say I'm not sure it was working for him.

I won't go into any more detail on this date, I feel like you understand where this date is heading. He was my trial date the rest will get easier, but now atleast I have one underneath my belt.

I give him a side guy and say something like thanks I had a good time and then I'm on my way. He says he'll give me a call, but I try to just start walking to my car.

Date Night

After my first week I scored my first date! This guy was quick. So, like I explained before there are four parts of communication with eHarmony. This guy asked me questions and then jumped straight to the email. To be honest with you I thought it was a little quick, but I gave him props for taking the ball and literally running with it. Definitely get to know a guys personality type through how he decides to communicate. I mean I have one guy who has sent me more emails that I think I’m going through writer’s block trying to figure out my next question to him and then I have this guy we’ll call him S that wastes no time at all.


He emailed me that we would be meeting at this local taco place at 6 p.m. Here it goes…for those of you who don’t know me well, know that what I’m doing is a major step out of my comfort zone. I try to challenge myself and do things to keep me on my toes, but as I’m writing this I will have you know that extreme butterflies in my stomach feel like they have taken over me. The day before I went out and bought a new shirt to wear. I needed something to give me a little confidence; I bought a cute tank with gems at the neck line and paired it with some jeans and gold jewelry along with some wedges from Ralph Lauren. Let me tell you, I was feeling good! I didn’t have that much time before the date because I got off of work late, so I did a touch up, changed and headed over to dinner.

My New Hobby

Okay I have a new hobby…ready to guess? After coming home from work, working out and eating dinner I get on eHarmony and check my new matches for the day. I have to say this whole thing has given me a major confidence booster. I mean to have six new matches of potential dates? It’s a little bit of a rush…just being honest. For those of you not familiar with the process there are four rounds of communication. The first round is a set of pre-fixed multiple choice questions then must haves and can’t stands, open ended questions and eHarmony mail. At any time though you can jump straight to the mail if you want to  avoid one of the rounds. I love getting little messages with Congrats M* has asked for communication with you. I mean seriously after a bad day sometimes that’s all you need to feel better. Well, let me take a step back and say depending on what the guy looks like and what he’s passionate about that’s another story. But any way you look at it…it’s quite a flattering deal.

It’s Raining Men

They were not lying at approximately 9:30 a.m. a feed of matches come to my inbox. Seriously, I have never seen this many potentials at one time. I feel like I’m on the Bachelorette. It has easily become the highlight of my morning. I log in to my gmail account and they are just waiting for me to click on their profile. The matches I receive though are hit or miss, but I guess that just shows that there is someone for everyone, right?

One thing that cracks me up though is that I do realize that guys have pictures with women that may not be the most appropriate, but you would think that they would use discretion when deciding which picture they put on their profile to attract someone. Well, I don't think some guys think through this all the way because I definitely got a match and the third picture on his profile is him with two women in fishnets with their legs up and he's smiling in the center. I mean really? If that's his way of saying I know I'm still single, but I'm a good time...he should've stayed with those two women that night because I think anyone women that had seen the picture would 'Close Match.' 

Lesson learned...never go for a guy that posts pictures with women in fishnets on his profile, makes references to his car being his baby and for that matter states that he needs his space every morning to work on his car....ummm no thank you. I'm on to look at my next matches!

Stepping Outside the Dating Box

Okay, so after my mom and sister helped me fill out the questionnaires and I send over my credit card number the match was on. Yes, you read that right...my sister and mom helped me with the process, sometimes you just need a good support system and I think they thought that if they weren’t there I wouldn’t go through with it. Well, it has been a month and I’m happy to report that I have stuck with it. So back to day one, the first feed of men came in my email inbox right away. Wow, I like how this all works out! I opened the first profile and you wouldn’t believe it…they matched me with a guy I had been on several dates with last year, but it just didn’t work out. I mean seriously in the whole scheme of things it wasn’t that big of a deal, but as one of my first matches I was in shock. One because after filling out all of that info I was tired and basically wanted the man of my dreams to be in my inbox just waiting for me to click on his profile. It wasn’t and although this guy was nice we just weren’t compatible. We went on two dates and for the second date I had to come up with a list of things to talk about because he wasn’t much of a talker. Then the second guys profile was this guy I had seen before and the third a 23 year old. I mean he’s just a baby and my brother’s age which would be just too weird. After I get myself together and give myself a little pep talk to get back in the game and not be on the phone with a customer service rep from eHarmony wanting to get off I get a phone call from my sister…yes she hightailed it out of there right after I hit sent. She was like the guy you did go out on a date, although not your type, clearly a nice guy which he was so she was like if anything it should make you feel better knowing that other decent guys are probably on this thing too. She’s right…and so the beat goes on.

I'm back!

Sorry for being on a hiatus for several months. I bet you’re wondering if I met the man of my dreams and decided to stop my blog. Nope, I’m still here…single, if only it was that easy! I have been trying to be proactive on the dating front though. I have decided to entrust the good people at eHarmony to see if they can find a compatible match for me. I looked into another dating service and it just seemed a bit too pricey for my liking and more geared towards an older crowd. And, just after hearing that Match is more for hookups I thought that eHarmony may be a safer bet. And, I would believe so…the process was long and detailed which I liked because they were all about compatilbility questions and what you’re looking for in a mate. So, just my two cents, if anyone were looking for a quick hookup on eHarmony I would be surprised because throughout the course of the night I’m not going to lie I wanted to quit several times. I held strong though, but at the time I think it was because my sister said she wouldn’t leave unless I sent the send key. Very glad I did though. If anything this is definitely an adventure. I mean after thinking about it I could meet a guy anywhere eHarmony or not, so why not just expand my pool. I know I have a lot of catching up to do so bear with me as I get through the last several weeks. And so the journey begins…..

Dating Skills

Do you ever get the feeling that dating can be like a full time job? I mean you have to keep up your game or else you lose your skill.

Taken

So, I told you all that I live in basically the burbs and this is why I feel like every guy in my apartment complex is taken. Now I know I could be jumping to conclusions, but seriously every decent looking guy that I have seen has ended up having a girlfriend! And I don't want to come off as the creeper person that tries to make conversation and then his girlfriend comes around the corner...not good! I guess I knew what I was getting into...I mean it all came clear not many single guys want to move to the burbs at the age of 26!

Way to Make an Impression

Lately, I just feel like I'm spinning tires and not getting anywhere. I mean I feel like I'm moving, but without any progress, sleeping in, forgetting things...what gives? I'm in a serious need of a vaca! Thankfully a beach trip is headed my way in less than two weeks!

There was a point to my above note in moving and not making any progress in that I had overslept on Friday till 8 AM! Mind you I have to be at work at 8:30 AM and I was leaving work early in the afternoon for a community service event, which meant that I had to get all of my work done in a half day. So this is the start to my Friday....

Luckily, the outfit was a no brainer. We are required to wear our company community service t-shirts to our volunteer event, so I was basically set to go in no time. I hop in my car and get ready to head to work when I realize that I had forgotten my banana on the counter and as I contemplated forgoing the banana I figured what would another minute be if I was already running late.

I decided to make a run for my apartment door not sure why I think I thought I would be saving time. I park in a parking deck and most of the cars were already gone so I was running over the empty parking spots. Well as I am in mid stride this silver truck comes around the corner and is trying to park in one of the spots that I'm running across (I know not a very classy move on my part- definitely not cool, calm and collected). So, I try to move out of his way and he gives me the go ahead to continue over his spot, probably for the shear joy in seeing me make a FOOL of myself as I'm running across the parking deck in my neon company community servicee shirt...ahhh the visual was probably making his morning, because I probably looked like a spaz!

Well, good news I got my banana and was making my way back to my car...I decide that may be power walking would be better than a full on sprint at this point. I was hoping to not run into the guy on my way back, but because of my record timing I pass him as he's coming in the entrance to our apartments. And he was so cute! Why is it that whenever you don't want the guy to be cute he is! I gave him a little smile and said, "sorry about that." He was like, "no problem." So, first impression with the cute guy in my apartment complex neon t-shirt girl sprinting and all for a banana!

With that I'm off to sleep.

Potential Prospects

So when a guy says we'll get together early next week...what does that really mean to him?

I mean because my definition would be Monday or Tuesday...Wednesday is midweek and Thursday and Friday are later in the week. See that simple!

It's already Thursday so I'm guessing I won't hear from him.

In other news...one of my friends sent me an invite for this weekend on Facebook and I definitely checked out what the guys who were going looked liked. Is that bad? I mean I have to check out the potential prospects!

In the Club

I think Jason Derulo's lyrics from In My Head say it perfectly....

"Everybodys looking for love. Ain't the reason you're at this club."

I mean because seriously we all know that's a major motive for going out...to hopefully meet a guy or at least be able to give out a number or something!

But one of my friends said something so true the other day..."I mean how long do we have to keep up this schedule of going out every weekend when we seem to not meet any new guys, all it leaves me is tired and hungover the next day."

I agree with her this past weekend I was out till 3 a.m. (I mean did I think I would meet a coherent/decent guy at 2:45 a.m. or something)...the answer was definitely not! I woke up the next day tired and with no motivation to do anything.

So...in saying that something to add to my list find new way to meet decent guys...I'll keep you posted on my progress!

Taxi?

This past weekend I had a run in with my ex (the first time seeing each other since our break-up two months ago). It actually went better than I expected....although I wasn't really sure what to expect in the first place. He's a great guy what can I say, but it's just one of those things that we're better off being friends.

I guess the night went so well that I ended up taking him home...I mean how did that happen? Honestly, I'm really not sure I guess that's what a late night will do to you...he was going to take a cab back by himself and I was driving home, so I thought the nice thing to do was offer him a ride. And yes...I took him home and I went back to my place if that's what you're wondering....

But, yesterday I receive a text from him saying it was good to see me and thanking me for the ride...like I said nice guy. Should I respond to the text or just read and move on? Ahhh I responded with what..."no problem, good to see you too" I figure that was short and to the point, right?

Life in the Single Lane

So, here's where it all begins! I'm not sure where this adventure will lead me, but if anything it should be entertaining.

I'm a 20 something living in the city, well more like the city/burbs limit (may be this is the reason I'm still single) trying to figure out this dating world.